What is love to me?

______
I have to do a certain amount of work per day or else I go to bed thinking I'm unlovable, lazy, useless, and if I do something wrong, then I think I'm unworthy of affection, and if I'm in that kind of mood (at least once daily) then I can't see any good qualities at all

Jacqueline Guerrero
that sounds ocd-ish
very much so
do you get songs stuck on loop in your head, or specific verses?
or even phrases?

_______
phrases

Jacqueline Guerrero
negative ones?

_______
and I repeat negative false memories
I've never told most this of course, but you and my partner
and it's rather selfish to tell you this as you have your own issues

Jacqueline Guerrero
no

Jacqueline Guerrero
it's not
because I can relate
everybody has their own issues
it's not like you being honest about yours is a burden on me

_________
true, but still I hate the idea of burdening people

Jacqueline Guerrero
you're not a burden
you're my friend

_________
I know, but I don't have friends I tell stuff to

Jacqueline Guerrero
then let me be one...

_________
:)

Jacqueline Guerrero
you're my friend, therefore you're somebody I care about
and when I care about somebody, if they're in pain, they cannot be a burden to me

___________
ok, well maybe, but I feel as if Im not around enough for you

Jacqueline Guerrero
_______... I don't have any expectations
the fact that you're around at all
is something I greatly appreciate

_______
fair enough, I guess I just wish I could do more for you
or that anyone could

Jacqueline Guerrero
even though I don't show it, necessarily,
trust me
you're doing plenty

_________
Well, if ever you need more, let me know

Jacqueline Guerrero
I don't know when I need things

Jacqueline Guerrero
or rather
I have such a problem with denying them
I don't let myself know when I need things
and when I do know
the thought of asking is completely terrifying

____
I know that feeling, asking feels like a massive burden

Jacqueline Guerrero
it's because of low self-worth
you don't feel worth the time
because you feel like you're a waste

____
exactly

Jacqueline Guerrero
that's painful

____
it is

Jacqueline Guerrero
in my eyes
and in my heart
you will never be a waste, okay?

________
nor will you :)